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CIA scales new heights in war against ragheads

The CIA is training its agents in the ancient art of calling Muslims to prayer in a bid to infiltrate Muslim groups both in the US and abroad, we have learned.

The man who cries out five times a day from a mosque's tower and tells Muslims when to pray, called a muezzin, holds a unique position in Muslim culture, a senior intelligence officer explained. "He is a highly respected member of Islamic society and as such almost beyond suspicion. Not only that but the towers provide a perfect vantage point for our agents to see what is going on at ground level."

It is understood that the CIA already has 10 of its agents acting as muezzins within the United States, with a further six or more working in the Middle East. The organisation refused to comment on whether any of them were currently in Afghanistan.

The CIA has run a muezzin school since 1989 – the year it first became concerned over anti-American feeling in the Middle East. That school, reportedly based on a deserted army airstrip in Virginia and equipped with six towers, or minarets, from which its agents can practice, has produced over 50 muezzins, many of who has used their skills in intelligence gathering for the agency.

With the increased threat from Osama bin Laden, the number of schools across the United States has risen to four, capable of producing up to 100 qualified muezzins each year.

We spoke to one former muezzin that worked in the Middle East who replied to our questions on the condition of anonymity. We asked: Is it not difficult to perfect the art of calling to prayer, especially in a different language to your own? "Oh sure, it's hard as hell," he told us. "The adhan is a bitch, let me tell you. It takes months and months of hard work. And if you haven't got the voice in the first place, there's jus' no way."

What does the "adhan" consist of? "Ah, it's pretty simple, you know. You jus' gotta say 'Allah is greatest, I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, I bear witness that Muhammad is Allah's messenger, come to prayer, come to salvation, there is no God but Allah' over and over again. Some of the phrases have to be said more than others, but it's pretty simple."

Didn't anyone notice that he wasn't from the area? "We were lucky in that you get pretty much a free hand in how you say it, so you don't have to be, like, perfect or nothing. In fact, if you get it right and really feel that son of a bitch flow through you it can almost be like, you know, a religious experience."

Did it not bother him that he was saying Allah was the greatest? "Sure it bothered me at first. I mean, there ain't nobody as holy as Jesus, I don't care what the Muzzies say. But you know, everyone's got their point of view and the way I see it, I was doing good, you know, the greater good and all that."

And what about the difference in his skin colour? "Oh, that was fine, they taught us at the school how to cover our faces in boot polish so we looked darker than we really were. Then it was just a case of wrapping up real warm so nobody could see any other part of you."

Did it not get unbearably hot? "It sure did. But, you know, you do what you gotta do."

What did the job entail? "Well, I'm not rightly sure I can tell you exactly what I did, but basically I spent a lot of time up in the minaret while the folks was doing salat and all that. Someone would bring me up some food, you know. Then the rest of the time, I jus' kept watch, saw who was coming in and out of what buildings when. I was lucky in that my minaret overlooked a government building and HQ was always real interested in who was popping in and out of there, let me tell you."

However while the CIA has realised the value of agents with muezzin skills, the programme looks to be in danger of collapse. "With the increased availability of electrical goods, many mosques are now installing loudspeakers or even tape decks, so even if we could get our agents out there, they may not be able to get the job," the intelligence officer told us. "It's a real worry."

However, while that may have restricted work within the US and rich Middle Eastern countries, many of the poorer ones still rely on the traditional muezzin. Afghanistan and Iraq are just two of them. "There's still plenty of opportunity to find out what these sons of bitches are up to," the officer told us. "Then we'll see who's singing for their supper."

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