Surgeon leaves full set of golf clubs in patient

A West Midlands man suffered three months of physical torment after bungling docs left a FULL SET of GOLF CLUBS in his abdomen.

Arnold Palmer, 67, endured excruciating pain only to be told by consultants that some discomfort was NORMAL after surgery. It was not until Palmer suffered an attack of uncontrollable rattling that the full extent of the cock-up became clear.

"It was agony," grimaced Palmer. "I couldn't bend over, and every time I lay down my feet were pulled towards magnetic North."

Palmer underwent emergency surgery during which amazed surgeons extracted a complete set of woods, irons and putters, a sand wedge, eleven balls, three score cards and a pair of nylon tartan golf pants.

A fellow surgeon told us: "It's common for small objects to be left inside patients after an operation. I myself have lost three Rolex watches and a leather wallet. But to mislay a full set of golf clubs inside the abdominal cavity is a little shoddy, not to mention inconvenient."

Palmer has filed a $780million dollar lawsuit against the consultant in charge of the original operation. He has also claimed possession of the clubs, although his lawyer noted that the surgeon could "have the golf pants back with my client's blessing".