Doc KO’s women’s bare-knuckle challenge

Two female pugilists are today threatening to take legal action after a doctor KO'd their scheduled bare-knuckle boxing match — claiming it was "repulsive".

Sharon Pikey, a mother of seven, and amateur shoplifter Lisa Greyhound were due to clash in a field near South Ockenden, Essex. But their dreams of fighting fame and fortune were dashed when doctor Kevin Cortina ruled that the contest should not go ahead. He initially stated that both women should "be at home getting the dinner on", before refusing even to sanction an exhibition bout of mild name-calling and hair-pulling.

The decision caused uproar among the huge crowd who had paid up to £100 a head to see a mixed card of senseless violence and dog fighting. Mr Cortina is, however, unrepentent. "No-one likes a good scrap more than meself," he told The Rockall Times. "But to see two good-looking lasses going at it hammer and tongs is disgusting. In the ring, I mean — it's obviously ok in a porn movie."

Cortina confirmed that he is also opposed to dogfights between bitches, branding it "cruel and unnatural". "That's why you have cock fighting and not hen fighting," he explained. "The principle is the same."

Pikey and Greyhound have stated that they intend to take their case to the European Court of Human Fights. "Women are equal to men in every way," Pikey told us. "And we intend to prove it."

Meanwhile, there are fears among sports' regulatory bodies that a ruling in favour of the two spitfires might open the floodgates to belligerent females. "It's only a matter of time before you get some bird smashing a glass into another's face for looking at her boyfriend," sighed one representative.