No laughter please: we're British

A report released today indicates that British humour is struggling to recover in the wake of the events of September 11th.

The 111-page document, commissioned by the Royal Society for the Protection of Irony (RSPI), suggests that although traditional British values of humour remained endangered, there are some signs of improvement.

"It effectively all started with political correctness," said a spokesman for the society. "Suddenly not only would you not say that your mother-in-law was fat, but in fact you could not say it."

A leading comedian endorsed this view, adding: "Overnight the whole country was full of people talking about menstruation and men's emotional inadequacies. It might have made you chuckle, but it was hardly classic comedy."

And, despite a sensational revival based on the Zeebrugge ferry disaster, the British tendency to laugh in the face of adversity was effectively killed off by the death of Lady Di.

"There wasn't one single joke about that," expounded a sociologist. "Not one pun, not one double-entendre. It's quite remarkable, given that she was killed in a car driven by a drug-crazed Frenchman shortly after shagging an Arab. Fertile territory indeed."

Experts confirm that this "Lady Di Syndrome" has meant lean times for black humour across the UK. They believe that the syndrome comes originally from America, and was spread by Liverpudlians who contracted the infection shortly after Hillsborough. Scousers continue to be an effective vector for the disease following the death of former-Beatle George Harrison.

Indeed, the RSPI reports that this, coupled to the World Trade Center disaster, has marked an all-time low for smart-mouthed Brits. "After the Brighton bomb, where terrorists brought down a hotel on top of the Tory party, every pub in the land was full of gay laughter and Norman Tebbit jokes," said the society's spokesman. "But when terrorists brought down a skyscraper on top of some Americans - silence."