Lord of the Rings greatest ever event in history: official

It's official - the epic blockbuster The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is the greatest single thing in the history of recorded time.

Film critics have declared the masterpiece "greater even than the spontaneous quantum event which created the universe", despite the fact that the film is not released until 19 December.

Under the guiding hand of undisputed genius Peter Jackson, movie magicians have turned J.R.R. Tolkien's "story of the power of friendship and individual courage, and the heroic quest to pave the way for the emergence of mankind" into the most significant happening since the Lord God himself created Adam and Eve.

"Harry Potter will have to lick The Ring's ring," gasped one critic with uncontrollable excitement. Another - who had prostrated himself before a poster of the film - added: "When Copernicus claimed that the planets revolved around the sun, he was way off the mark. It's now clear that the planets, and in fact all of the stars and galaxies turn reverently around the central axis that is The Lord of the Rings."

In London today massive queues have formed at a cinema where it is believed that a three-second trailer previewing the rough artwork for the cover of the DVD boxed set of the movie's out-takes will be shown. Meanwhile, small sealed bags containing air taken from downwind of the film's set are changing hands for up to £20,000.