Israel’s hearts-and-minds campaign ‘a great success’

Peace in the Middle East moved a step closer today as Israel's new "hearts and minds" initiative was presented to a sceptical Palestinian population.

The campaign, which hopes to rebuild communication and understanding between the two groups, started when the previously disliked Israelis troops placed explosives in the territory's radio station and helped it to fall over.

As Palestinians saw their public voice go up in flames, they expressed their delight through the traditional exchange of rocks with the armed troops. Soldiers responded in kind by offering valuable metals and ores, even placing some in a 22-year-old boy's head and neck for him. He is said to have died of joy.

And in an tremendous act of generosity, the Israeli army thanked Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat for his part in honouring a banquet in Hadera - at enormous expense to themselves - by removing eyesore buildings around his home using bulldozers and fighter jet missiles.

Arafat — a lifelong fan of tanks — was also reportedly elated when the Israeli army said it would leave their vehicles within sight of his headquarters so he can admire them during the day.

Israeli leader Ariel Sharon — who isn't responsible for the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian civilians in the Sabra and Chatila refugee camps in Beirut 18 years ago, despite what people say — was thrilled with the initiative, calling it "a great success".