Public unmoved by apathy over Golden Jubilee celebrations

The UK public is unmoved by reports of widespread apathy over the Queen's Golden Jubilee celebrations this year, reports have revealed.

Just several hundred requests for public parties have so far been sent to Buckingham Palace to celebrate 50 years of the Liz Two's reign - compared to over 25,000 at the Silver Jubilee in 1977. But despite the poor response and dozens of sniggering articles in the press, the British public remains uninterested in the whole affair.

In a recent survey, 74 per cent of people said they were indifferent to whether or not the Jubilee is a success and 65 per cent were unconcerned by the government's concerns. Over 23 per cent of those questioned couldn't even be bothered to answer the questions put to them.

Meanwhile, a Buckingham Palace spokesman told us that Liz Two was not that bothered either way. Princess Margaret is more concerned by the fact that she'll die this year, Prince Charles is keen to spend more time with his junkie sons, Andrew is emotionless and even the Queen Mum (gawd bless yer ma'am) is pretty much stoic about the situation.

Still, Glastonbury's on again this year.