Sopstars: Theakston's whores star in new TV show
The skinflint prostitute shagger to host adult version of singing extravaganza
by Kieren McCarthy
Modest, talented and reliable celebrity haircut Jamie Theakston is to
be reunited with the prostitutes he screwed and then underpaid in a new
adult version of TV runaway hit Popstars, called, incredibly,
Sopstars.
Featuring streetwise ladies of the night instead of prima donna teenage
wannabes, the new show will have Theakston as host, skinflint and semen
supplier. And in what is expected to be a ratings winner, Weakston has
teamed up with the two women he paid to have sex with in the first episode,
to be screened next month.
The show's preview tape features the two whores among six women who stand
in Amsterdam-style red-light windows in their underwear until it's their
turn to sing. One of the women Weakston screwed, Bella, gives Jamie a little
kiss before embarking on a raunchy version of Say A Little Prayer for
Me. The other whore, Angela, is also seen cheekily grabbing Jamie's
testicles before covering Tracy Chapman classic For my Lover.
Once each prostitute has sung her piece, the voting goes to TV viewers
and then at 9pm, Weakston returns to announce the results. Whoever wins is
then invited to a sofa where Weakston ejaculates on them, gives them 40 quid
and then runs off to a Sunday newspaper to give "his side of the story".
The show is expected to be a great success.