Sopstars: Theakston's whores star in new TV show

Modest, talented and reliable celebrity haircut Jamie Theakston is to be reunited with the prostitutes he screwed and then underpaid in a new adult version of TV runaway hit Popstars, called, incredibly, Sopstars.

Featuring streetwise ladies of the night instead of prima donna teenage wannabes, the new show will have Theakston as host, skinflint and semen supplier. And in what is expected to be a ratings winner, Weakston has teamed up with the two women he paid to have sex with in the first episode, to be screened next month.

The show's preview tape features the two whores among six women who stand in Amsterdam-style red-light windows in their underwear until it's their turn to sing. One of the women Weakston screwed, Bella, gives Jamie a little kiss before embarking on a raunchy version of Say A Little Prayer for Me. The other whore, Angela, is also seen cheekily grabbing Jamie's testicles before covering Tracy Chapman classic For my Lover.

Once each prostitute has sung her piece, the voting goes to TV viewers and then at 9pm, Weakston returns to announce the results. Whoever wins is then invited to a sofa where Weakston ejaculates on them, gives them 40 quid and then runs off to a Sunday newspaper to give "his side of the story".

The show is expected to be a great success.