I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

'Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are wogs,' says UK barrister

A UK barrister has reacted angrily to accusations of racism, claiming that he has embraced multi-culturalism "as much as the next man".

Speaking exclusively to The Rockall Times, Oliver Rubpubbly, 47, denies that he racially harassed a court clerk and made continual and offensive remarks about his African origins.

"It's utter rubbish," snorted Rubpubbly. "Some of my best friends have a touch of the tar brush. Nothing wrong with that. Indeed, my maternal grandfather married a dago. What's more, Uncle Toby had three kids by a very nice slope woman he met in Thailand. Lovely lady. And I have a second cousin who's engaged to a delightful Paki businessman. I rest my case."

When asked if he had referred to the court clerk as a "fuc*king coon", Rubpubbly visibly bristled. "Listen young man," he told our reporter, "I had the best education money can buy. I am an erudite and well-travelled man of the world. The clerk is from Ghana. You don't get coons in Ghana. The man is a fuc*king nigger."

 Email an enemy  Pub-friendly printable version  ‘Society’ index page