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  Monday 11th February 2002  Sex   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Sex case teacher romped with shape-shifting emissary of Satan from fifth dimension

Also drank blood of virgins, naturally
by Lester Haines

Disgraced sex case teacher Amy Gehring almost certainly romped with a shape-shifting emissary of Satan from the fifth dimension, we can reveal.

During a five-year ORGY of Bacchanalian lust, the RAMPANT schoolmistress bedded HUNDREDS of CHILDREN, some as young as THREE, as she carried out the wishes of her dark master.

Indeed, it is certain that during her childhood in Otterville, a remote and windswept Canadian farming community, Gehring was recruited into the black arts during satanic rituals which formed an everyday part of rural life.

In 1927, the town was rocked by a scandal which involved allegations of pet sacrifice and tax evasion. There is no doubt of the effect which such horrific events would have had on the young Gehring, living as she did only 11 MILES from the scene of the outrages.

Gehring: Drank blood of virgins, no doubt about it

Her unbalanced state began to reveal itself only during puberty. Chillingly, she later indulged in FULL INTERCOURSE on SEVERAL OCCASIONS with VARIOUS PARTNERS.

But what led a sex-crazed country girl to inflict her depravity on innocent UK schoolchildren has only one plausible explanation — that she had been transformed into a SEX ZOMBIE after romping with a shape-shifting emissary of Satan from the fifth dimension.

No other explanation adequately explains her propensity for doggy-style sex with teenagers and fellatio. One church minister told The Rockall Times: "The battle between darkness and light is now being fought in the arena of sex. I implore young women not to couple with Beelzebub's ambassador, who commonly takes the form of an adult male in order to trick his victims."

Gehring, meanwhile, having incredibly been found innocent of all charges relating to sex with minors, has returned to Canada where she will doubtless find it easier to procure the blood of virgin children thought to fuel her insatiable sexual appetite.

Girls! Have you had sex with a celebrity?