Margaret death leaves way clear for £1m Royal accumulator bet
Princess’ clog-popping may make Jeff Carter a rich man
by Kieren McCarthy
While Royal watchers mourned the death of Princess Margaret over the
weekend, one man in a sleepy village in Tyneside was unable to contain his
excitement.
"I'm gonny get me a million pounds man," exclaimed Jeff Carter to no one in
particular when we arrived at the Red Lion in Ogle. Jeff was a popular man,
having bought drinks for everyone since Saturday lunchtime thanks to his Royal
death accumulator bet — worth £1 million — which he now looks
certain to collect.
"Aye, it's true man," Jeff told us. "I had this dream like about seven year
ago that Princess Diana was gonny pop her clogs man. So I went down to
Ladbrokes like and I said to the man 'What odds you give me that Princess Diana
like is going to die soon man?' and he gave me this accumulator bet like."
Ladbrokes had refused to accept a bet on the death of Princess Death but did
offer a four-death accumulator bet to the value of £1 million. In order for
Jeff to collect, first Princess Diana, then Princess Margaret then the Queen
Mum and the Queen herself would need to die. If they failed to die in that
order, the bet would end and Jeff would lose his £40 base payment.
With the Queen Mum (gawd bless yer ma'am) now aged 101 and increasingly
fragile, it would take some lone assassin targeting Liz Two in her Jubilee year
to prevent Jeff's third prediction from coming true. Then it's just a matter of
hoping none of Liz Two's children meet a premature end for Jeff to cash in.
The incredible £1 million sum may seem daft in retrospect but Royal expert
Sir James Watherlington-Smythe told us that when the bet was placed in 1995,
the odds on it happening were almost non-existent. "Well, in 1995, Diana was
fit as a fiddle and shagging some rich playboy or rugby star or something," he
told us. "Meanwhile, Margaret was in rude health."
Despite being a chain smoking drunk, Margaret showed no sign of
susceptibility to strokes at the time. In the end, she managed three before
finally passing away at 6.30am on Saturday.
And then who could have foreseen the tragic events of 1997 when Diana's body
impacted into a concrete pillar leaving her dead as a dodo?
Jeff Carter, that's who.