Asylum seekers ethnically cleanse detention centre

Immigrants express themselves as only they know how

by Lester Haines

Rampaging asylum seekers who torched a £100 million detention centre were simply bringing their own cultural traditions to the ethnic mixing pot that is modern-day Britain, we can reveal.

Yarl's Wood Centre, in Clapham, Befordshire suffered £35 million worth of damage in a night of terror during which staff were assaulted and locked into rooms as the building blazed.

The incident throws into doubt the government's handling of the asylum seeker issue. While many applaud Home Secretary David Blunkett's insistence that new citizens be obliged to swear allegance to their adoptive country, others believe the measure might deprive Britain of the benefits that foreign cultural attitudes might bring.

"No-one can deny that Indian immigrants have made considerable contributions to British society, and that we are a better country for them" noted one curry expert. "Their secret has been to embrace the values of your new home while retaining a sense of your own ethnic identity."

Indeed, if Britain is to deal effectively with the realities of multi-culturalism, it must accept that if Hindus — for instance — can celebrate Diwali on the streets of Southall, new arrivals from the Balkans must also be allowed the freedom to express their culture. Even if their idea of a Saturday night out is to go to a neighbouring village, shoot all the men, rape all the women, and lock the children in a school before setting fire to it.

Slobodan Milosevic was unavailable for comment today.