I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

Michael Owen signs £10m deal with Morgan Stanley

Star striker Michael Owen has signed a £10 million deal with top City bank Morgan Stanley, it was revealed today.

The Liverpool and England hero will put his name to a series of mew financial services including TESSAs, ISAs, life insurance and pension schemes under the name Owen's Strike It Rich.

Owen will oversee the formulation of the services and put his unquestioned hand-eye talents to sound financial use.

Commenting on the breakthrough, a Morgan Stanley spokesman said: "We are delighted to have someone with Michael's talents working with us to develop a world-class range of financial services. This is great news for him, for us, but most importantly, for the British public who will benefit most from Owen's Strike It Rich portfolio."

PR woman Sarah Cleendale was paid to write a press release about the deal and made up the following quote from Owen himself: "I'm delighted to be working with such a prestigious name like Morgan Stanley and to develop a world-class range of financial services. This is great news for all of us, but most importantly, for the British public who will benefit most from my Strike It Rich portfolio."

The news comes hot on the heels of a £2 million deal between Manchester United and England star David Beckham and housewives' favourite Marks & Spencer.

Other deals thought to be in the pipeline include:

• Fabien Bartez and Sir Richard Rogers' Utopia 2002 complex of high-density, low-rise modular buildings in London's docklands
• The Carol Smiley own brand range of tactical battlefield nuclear weapons
• Bono's International University of Statemanship
• Martin Johnson's self-defence video Punching for England
• Jamie Theakston and Triple X Publishing's Rough Guide to London brothels

 Email an enemy  Pub-friendly printable version  ‘Sport’ index page