Man with hilarious car sticker actually owns Porsche
Comedy slogan miscalculation ends in divorce
by Lester Haines
A Basingstoke man is tonight fighting to save his marriage after an innocent car sticker purchase went horribly wrong.
Company director Dave Bassett, 53, bought the sticker declaring "My other car is a Porsche!" and put it in the rear window of his wife's RAV 4. "I did it to cheer her up after the mastectomy," sobbed Dave. "I should have thought about it a bit harder first."
Indeed, for what no-one had told Dave is the sticker is only funny if you DON'T in fact own a Porsche. Dave, whose successful pork scratching wholesale operation has made him rich, owns no less than FOUR. Incredibly, his local garage assistant failed to warn him of this when he purchased the £3.99 sticker, despite the fact that he was driving a bright red 911 at the time.
And, far from giving his wife a much-needed boost in morale, she has been in a barbiturate-induced coma ever since. "This has made her a laughing stock in the village," noted her solicitor. "She's filed for divorce and will take Mr Bassett for his last pork scratching."
An expert in comedy car stickers told The Rockall Times: "Although whether or not you find a particular slogan amusing is largely subjective, there are several clearly-defined rules. And while an evidently poor person putting a 'My other car is a Porsche!' sticker in a Fiat Uno is side-splittingly funny, to slap it in an expensive off-roader and park that in the drive next to a Porsche is just bloody stupid."
Mr Bassett agrees. "I've been a fool. I just hope I can win back the wife's love with this musical set of furry dice..."