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Bush hits Inca trail in War on Terror™

International statesman President George Dubya has announced his commitment to work with Latin-American states to broaden the dictionary definition of the word "terrorism".

Speaking at a joint press conference with Peruvian President Alejandro Toledo in Lima, an inspired Mr Bush noted that the US and Peru were committed to the War on Terror™. "We must stop it," he pronounced, offering the hope that his administration would initiate a massive clampdown on US covert and overt military intervention in Latin America.

It appears, however, that his words may have been misinterpreted. "No, sorry," said a White House spokesman. "He means the Islamo-Marxist falling domino sort of terrorism."

There has been no such misunderstanding in Brazil, where the occupation of a ranch owned by President Fernando Henrique Cardoso's two sons by landless peasants was swiftly branded "an act of terrorism" by Agrarian Development Minister Raul Juggman.

The ranch is now surrounded by more than 500 soldiers who are patiently awaiting the arrival of British Marines and US special forces.

In El Salvador, the authorities have neatly side-stepped any possible embarrassment by moving forward by one day the 22nd anniversary of the murder of the Archbishop of San Salvador, Oscar Arnulfo Romero, so that it would not coincide with Bush's arrival there.

"The jury's still out as to whether that was an act of terrorism or not," admitted one red-faced official. "Probably not, since the Archbishop was a well-known commie pinko faggot."

Meanwhile, crack teams of US lexicographers are understood to be preparing to deploy in Colombia with a view to possible re-evaluation of the exact meaning of "terrorist" in that sun-kissed paradise.

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