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Essex honours Middle East men of peace

US president Dubya Bush and Israeli supremo Adolf Sharon yesterday took five from their busy international schedules to receive a unique honour.

At a flag-bedecked ceremony in Dagenham, Essex, the two men embraced warmly as they were presented with a personalised Ford Cortina in recognition of their contributions to peace in the Middle East.

The car, complete with nodding dog and sun strip bearing their names in the local style, is awarded only to those who have "sacrificed the interests of their own nations in the pursuit of peace", a fact not lost on a tearful Sharon: "I just wish Yasser could be here," he sobbed. "We've worked so damn hard making the West Bank a safe place to raise your kiddies."

A visibly-moved Bush endorsed this view: "I'd just like Chairman Arafat to know that if he ever finds himself short of transport, the car's available."

The day was judged a great success by local people who had gathered in their dozens to watch proceedings. And, despite a short and unseemly scuffle as the two leaders fought over who should drive and in which direction, the event was concluded without Dagenham town centre reduced to rubble by Israeli tanks. "Given Sharon's reputation, you got to consider that a result," noted a relieved mayor.

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