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  Monday 15th April 2002  The Arts   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Russell Crowe to donate temper to science

Scientists welcome research opportunity
by Lester Haines

Talented Hollywood hearthrob Russell Crowe is to donate his legendary temper to science, we can reveal.

Sources close to the Gladiator star have confirmed that scientists will receive the obstreperous Aussie's attitude after his death and will use it to gain valuable insights into the mentality of the modern movie idol.

A leading expert in celebrity attitude told The Rockall Times: "What interests us is the process by which a perfectly normal man with good looks and a modicum of acting talent can become, by way of international success, a self-regarding prima donna with a propensity for bullying and obnoxious outbursts."

Doctors have warmly welcomed Crowe's gesture, but deny that it was in fact his brain which was on offer. "Oh, no," one told us. "To get to that, we'd first have to extract his head out from up his arse. Far too expensive and complicated, I'm afraid."

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