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  Monday 15th April 2002  World News   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Queen® to become Queen Mum™

'One wants some of that,' says golden jubilee girl
by Steve Craig

The Queen® is to abdicate, a palace insider confirmed to The Rockall Times today, to take up the vacant post of Queen Mum™ (Gawd bless 'er®).

She was so overwhelmed by the public hysteria when the post became vacant that she is said to have commented "One wants some of that", and is now in secret conversation with some of her German relatives with a view to a New Blitz® which we can all look back upon when we're old and senile.

This means that Prince Wingnut will be promoted to the position of King™, although whether he will retain his name and become King Wingnut the First is unclear. The crown is already being adjusted with special side-grooves/slots, by the Senior Officer of Crown Adjustment, as we go to press.

 Go on then, hard man