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Reader Poll result: Raghead terrorists to face Anne Robinson

It is decided then. All those evil ragheads being held by the US in Cuba are to face the wrath of legendary TV hard bitch Anne Robinson.

Her wasp-chewing mug will be the last thing the sons of bitches see before being sent to Hell in a special version of Weakest Link. The US administration also hopes to recoup some of its expenses on the war through selling footage of the show to worldwide media outlets.

But despite many celebrating the TV show, one Rabbi Sminestein was inconsolable. Despite his attempts to fix the poll, circumcision came in at number two as the best method of execution. As one of the world's foremost experts in circumcision and holder of the circumcision world record (18 penises in two minutes), Mr Sminestein not only stood to gain financially but wanted the chance to beat the all-time record for the number of knobs cut in one day.

A close third came a PR presentation. Our girls Colita and Lucita were devastated at the news having spent five days organising a brainstorming session over the presentation. Nevertheless they plucked up the courage to go to the Pitcher and Piano and drink three bottles of Blue Nun before going back with a loud-mouth City twat to his pad to get an unsatisfactory seeing-to.

The Spice Girls came in at number four, which is the highest chart position they've had for some time, and Bono managed to scrape a surprisingly low fifth. Proving perhaps that no matter how much we hate terrorists, we still have a certain amount of respect for human life.

Traditional methods of killing people were not so popular, being led by Old Sparky on a modest 45. The full results were as follows:

1. Anne Robinson: 1523 votes
2. Circumcision: 1233
3. PR presentation: 1072
4. Spice Girls CD: 370
5. Bono Lecture: 268
6. Old Sparky: 45
7. Feed to lions: 31
8. Junk Food: 28
9. Global warming: 14
10. Firing squad: 8
11. Gas chamber: 7
12. Lethal injection: 6

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