Humour failure extends caption competition

Dear oh dear oh dear oh dear. Last week, we ran a caption competition as a promotion for our wonderful new t-shirts. The pic was of Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith readying himself for a game of footy against some immigrants as they enjoyed their last moments of freedom. All you had to do was come up with a witty caption and you'd win a free t-shirt or a stick of Rockall rock. Easy.

Except, in a sensational demonstration of chronic humour failure, we have been inundated with what were, frankly, disgracefully poor efforts. Such was the mediocrity that not one entry merited a prize. And so we're not going to dish any out.

This, for the record, was our own suggestion:

However, there still remain five t-shirts for prizes plus ten sticks of rock and so we're going to give you one more chance to be funny with a second caption competition. The pic, below, features the two dubious cretins tasked with hosting the Eurovision Song Contest at the weekend.

Now this is very simple: come up with a funny caption for it, and we might send you one of our incredible first-edition Rockall t-shirts. Think it up, write it on an email and send it to us at competition@therockalltimes.co.uk. God help us all. And those of you without any talent for such challenges are cordially invited to buy one of our shirts anyway. How do you think we finance this nonsense?