1983

Intoxicated with the heady wine of her Falklands victory, Margaret Thatcher once again ascends the steps of No.10 for a second term at the helm of battleship Britannia.

Having crushed the enemy abroad, she now sets her sights on the enemy within — the unions. Determined to purge the country once and for all of Commie agitators, flying pickets and northerners, the Iron Lady pulls on her gloves for the mother of all industrial disputes.

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1984

The Orwellian nightmare becomes reality as the UK miners' strike is ruthlessly crushed by the forces of law and order. Brother is set against brother, father against son and never again will King Coal offer a viable alternative to gas central heating.

On a brighter note, the dispute has virtually no effect in southern England, and police overtime payments hit the highest levels since records began. In Colombia, delighted coal bosses announce the employment of an additional 30,000 child labourers.

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1985

Amid the continuing acrimony surrounding the previous year's events, there is a brief feel-good moment when Live Aid raises millions for famine-torn Africa.

The event marks the high-water mark in the career of Howard Jones (left), who will never again bring the mullet to a television audience of billions. And while Howard — and his hair — are consigned to the land-fill site of pop history, organiser Bob Geldof wins himself a honorary knighthood for swearing profusely on live television.

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1986

In what is considered the worst year on record for scientific cock-ups, the US and Soviet Union manage to completely destroy a space shuttle and nuclear power plant, respectively.

While the Americans are left picking up the pieces, and the residents of Chernobyl contemplating a new life a thousand miles upwind, Liz Two makes good her escape with an historic trip to China.

The visit is the first time a British monarch has visited the Communist superstate, and husband Phil the Greek wastes no time in demonstrating his diplomatic skills. Mercifully, a Sino-British war is narrowly averted.

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1987

Britain confirms its total dominance of the public transport disaster international champions' league with a spectacular fire at London's King's Cross underground station which claims the lives of 31.

The cause is found to be a carelessly-discarded cigarette on one of the station's escalators. This revelation sets a new precedent in which passengers or staff will be blamed for every future fatal rail incident, regardless of any evidence to the contrary.

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1988

Members of the SAS take a short weekend break from writing their memoirs and travel to Gibraltar, where they gun down three unarmed suspected IRA bombers.

The subsequent enquiry determines that in future British security forces must ask terrorists to fill in a short questionnaire and indicate whether or not they are armed and about to detonate car bombs. Only then can they shoot them.

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1989

China, furious that the UK has grabbed world headlines over events in Gibraltar, decides to show the world how to make short work of unarmed dissidents.

The army kills hundreds of pro-democracy protestors in Tiananmen Square, provoking outrage in every civilised country. However, this anger is soon tempered by the realisation that China offers the world's largest untapped export market. The incident is quickly forgotten amid a flurry of contract signing.

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1990

The reign of Margaret Thatcher comes to a bloody end when thousands of malodorous convoy people and dogs on string trash central London during vicious Poll Tax riots.

Unable to control her Caligulan excesses any longer, Maggie's own cabinet colleagues turn upon her with knives. A considerably tarnished Iron Lady soon retires from government, occasionally surfacing in the House of Lords from which she can broadcast with impunity her own particular brand of clear thinking.

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1991

Determined to protect the Kuwaiti royal family's democratic right to spend extended periods drinking Scotch in London casinos, Britain and the US unite to remove Iraqi bad apple Saddam Hussein from the middle-eastern barrel.

The short and brutal campaign results in total victory for the allies, although the fact that Hussein remains in power and continues to gas Kurds for another decade is still a mystery to many.

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1992

The curtain falls on forty years of Elizabethan queenship with the election victory of Thatcher replacement John Major. The Tories' third term in office leaves but a small minority remembering anybody else ever running the country.

With the last of the nationalised industries sold off to the voters, and government ministers busy enjoying champagne hospitality at the Ritz in Paris, it's business as usual in good old Blighty. Few can even be bothered to imagine what wind of change — if any — might blow through the coming years.

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More monumentous events in pictures

1953-1962

1963-1972

1973-1982

1983-1992

1993-2002