CIA uncovers massive US paramilitary group

During an astonishing press conference, CIA chief spook George J Tenet, announced the discovery of a well armed, highly skilled and well financed paramilitary group freely operating within the United States.

"This Federal Bureau of Investigation, or FBI as they are also known, numbers tens of thousands of members and can be found in every part of this country. Their insidious presence can be felt at the highest levels of government. Such a body poses a clear and present danger to the security of the United States and we should know cause we're the CIA," Tenet boasted.

In a written statement to the press, the CIA claimed that groups such as the FBI can be used by foreign powers to overthrow the duly elected government. They point to several instances such as Guatemala, Chile, Iran where such a scenario has played itself out.

On the heels of its current war against the CIC, NRO, NSA and other nefarious acronyms, the CIA maintains that Americans can never feel safe until they say so. The CIA says the FBI is the biggest threat to itself and thus the American public. Ipso facto it must be true and the FBI must go.

When asked whether such internal fighting can be compared to the infamous Night of the Long Knives where Himmler's SS massacred Rohm's SA Brownshirts in order to become the pre-eminent security force for the Reich, Tenet angrily declared: "Absolutely not, there is completely no parallel between these two events. To even suggest such a thing is patently ridiculous. The FBI sports blue suits with white shirts and red and/or blue ties. As for the other part, yeah I can see the similarities."

All comments from the FBI were intercepted by the CIA to prevent any of their salacious, malicious and treasonous poison to infect the hearts and minds of average Americans.

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