FBI uncovers massive US paramilitary group

During an astonishing press conference, FBI Director Robert Mueller, announced the discovery of a well armed, highly skilled and well financed paramilitary group freely operating within the United States and with cells all over the world.

"This Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA as they are also known, numbers tens of thousands of members and can be found in every part of this country and beyond. Their insidious presence can be felt at the highest levels of government. Such a body poses a clear and present danger to the security of the United States and we should know since we are the FBI," Mueller boasted.

In a written statement to the press, the FBI claimed that groups such as the CIA can be used by foreign powers to overthrow the duly elected government. They point to several instances such as Guatemala, Chile, Iran where such a scenario has played itself out.

On the heels of its current war against local and state police forces, small town hicks and music downloaders, the FBI maintains that Americans can never feel safe until they say so. The FBI says that the CIA is the biggest threat to itself and thus the American public. Ipso facto it must be true and the CIA must go.

When asked whether such internal fighting can be compared to the infamous Night of the Long Knives where Himmler's SS massacred Rohm's SA Brownshirts in order to become the pre-eminent security force for the Reich, Mueller angrily declared: "Absolutely not, there is completely no parallel between these two events. To even suggest such a thing is patently ridiculous. The CIA sports black suits with off-white shirts and blue and/or red ties. As for the other part, yeah I can see the similarities."

All comments from the CIA were intercepted by the FBI to prevent any of their salacious, malicious and treasonous poison to infect the hearts and minds of average Americans.

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