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  Monday 17th June 2002  Politics   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Ireland peace process put on hold after Blair nose-hair allegations

'At no point did I intervene in the trimming process,' PM informs press
by Kieren McCarthy

The Northern Ireland peace process has been put on hold after prime minister Tony Blair was forced to cut short a vital meeting to answer allegations that he trimmed his nose hair.

In a personal statement to reporters, Blair reiterated his denial that Number 10 had intervened in a dispute with local barber's — Harry's Hair Clinic — and, it is alleged, ask for his nose hair to be cut back to an indiscernible length.

He said: "The allegation that I tried to muscle in or hijack Harry's weekly trim is as offensive as it is completely and utterly untrue. Moreover, I've no doubt that the civil servants who handled this issue and did so without reference or discussion with me handled the matter with total integrity."

Downing Street released a 129-page dossier detailing its version of events. In it, it claims that questions raised over the nose hair were dealt with perfectly properly and the alleged disagreement with Harry's was nothing more than a press invention.

Despite the one man that can put a lid on the issue — barber Harry Belching — remaining defiantly tight-lipped, the press has continued to concentrate on Hairgate, with the Sun splashing this weekend on new allegations that Blair shaves the bit of skin between his eyebrows.

It's not the first time either that Blair has been in trouble over his barnet. In 1998, he was accused of dying it a darker shade of brown and in 2000, an ex-hairdresser announced that he blow-dried his hair to give it more lift.

The latest twist in the saga is likely to put the government under yet more pressure as it seeks to control how the press reports on its follicle frolics. With the self-involved argument set to continue for weeks, many are worried that Northern Ireland may slip into full-scale war again, al-Qaeda terrorists may blow up the Houses of Parliament and unemployment and crime reach record levels.

Meanwhile, Conservative leader Duncain Smith called for the resignations of communications director Alistair Campbell, chairman Charles Clarke, trade secretary Patricia Hewitt, the health secretary, three junior ministers at the defence department and Des Lynam. Twice.

Go on then, hard man