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  Monday 17th June 2002  Yeast Logic   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Fifth Circle of the Pentagon sealed

Otherworldly daemons once again contained
by BF Hart, Grand Wizard of The Church of the Latter-Day Satirists

High Priests recently oversaw the completion of repairs to the Pentagon which suffered extensive damage in the attacks of 9 November.

The Pentagon: SealedAmerica's central military command and eternal prison of the ancient Soggoth — a variety of daemon with unspeakable capacity for evil — was not sufficiently damaged in the attacks to rupture the fifth, innermost circle of the building. But American engineers and wizards felt that a rapid rebuilding of the four outer circles of eternal containment be reconnected — thus completing the Five Circles of Isis and preventing the Soggoth's escape. With the Soggoth contained, the continuation of the American military's control of the underworld, black magic, and of evil itself is all but assured.

"By placing the last stone in place and applying the appropriate sacrificial ceremonies and the burning of candles and things of that nature, we can guarantee the American public and the rest of the world that this particular containment facility is once again completely secure," reported one Pentagon High Priest who asked not to be named. "The Soggoth shall be our captive lords for all eternity."

In return for their eternal service, the Soggoth require periodic mass sacrifices. Locations in India, Palestine, and Iraq are all being considered.

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