G8 proposes delicious solution to world poverty

The G8 group of industrialised nations has today committed over $12 billion towards eating the world's really poor.

From their hideaway in Canada's Rocky Mountains, the heads of the eight countries declared in a joint statement that "poverty and hunger is best combated by tackling the cause at its root. Namely, by eating poor people".

By consuming the very people who threaten to disrupt the West's control of world food markets, governments will be able to cut back on huge subsidies and so prop up a faltering world economy. "It's a yum-yum situation," said one commentator.

The solution, hailed as a breakthrough by a group leading TV chefs, has found many supporters, with investors already looking at the possibility of a G8-funded chain of "McMockney" fast-nouvelle outlets across the westernised world and a few in Africa.

"After all, if people will eat what is currently on offer in fast-food restaurants, the malnourished muscle of an Ethopian orphan will be a rich treat. And because they are so many of them on the Dark Continent, we can easily undercut the current market price," said one.

Meanwhile, speaking at the annual basket-weavers convention in Moldova, World Bank President Wolfensen declared: "This will create a sustainable roadmap towards the sustenance of bureaucrats in the developing world."

The message to the world's poor from the G8 is clear: "Get your house in order, get rich or get eaten."