Hitler slams anti-euro cinema ad

Backs Reichsmark and calls Rik Mayall 'fat'

by BF Hart

Speaking from a secret palatial retreat outside Buenos Aries, the 107-year-old former German dictator Adolf Hitler has poured scorn on the "No" Euro campaign advertisement — soon to be shown in UK cinemas and featuring comic Rik Mayall.

"Das ist nicht ein correct impression of mein views," he screamed down the phone at our reporter, referring to the Mayall's impersonation of the ex-Fuhrer in which he enthusiastically supports the introduction of the euro currency.

"It seems to me to be necessary to defend the truth from the wild exaggerations of a man who as a soldier is a bad politician and as a politician is an equally bad soldier because he is too fat to realistically portray me," Hitler said of Mayall.

"The Euro can find no market today," he continued. "Throw it at any one and he will step aside to avoid being hit. But our Reichsmark, which is backed by no gold, has remained stable. German currency, with no gold coverage, is worth more today than gold itself. It signifies unceasing production. Deutschland über alles."

"No" campaign director George Eustice deflected Hitler's criticisms however, suggesting the ageing statesman's complaints are unfounded: "It is a harmless comedy sketch for three seconds in a 90-second film. Hitler should lighten up," he said.