Cleanse your mind with our TV Soap Authenticator™

It's a modern dilemma: how do you remember whether you caught the last episode of your favourite soap when every one is exactly the same and you always black out at the end of it?

Well, worry no longer with the Rockall Times TV Soap Authenticator™. Simply answers the questions below and we will be able to tell you not only whether you've watched a soap today but also which one you watched.

Don't believe us? Give it a try.

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TV Soap Authenticator™

1.	Is the television on?	Yes No
2.	Do you feel strangely exhilarated, yet nauseous at the same time?	Yes No
3.	Did you witness at least two entirely improbable events in the last half hour?	Yes No
4.	Did the events cause those involved to react in a way entirely contrary to their characters?	Yes No
5.	Do you recall seeing one of the women in your vision drunk and flat on her arse in the News of the World colour supplement this week?	Yes No
6.	Was there a barmaid that you're supposed to think is sexy but looks like a cross between a sexually abused poodle and a white turd?	Yes No
7.	Were the people poor, dysfunctional, working class, and proud of it?	Yes No
8.	Was everyone shouting all the time?	Yes No
9.	Were they shouting in:	A Scouse accent? A Yorkshire accent? A Cockney accent? A mixture of Northern accents? A funny foreign accent?
10.	Did someone suddenly launch into a menacing, tearful, furious, sensitive, angry, resigned five-minute monologue about a friend shagging a relative?	Yes No
11.	Do you now feel emotionally depressed, dirty, used, somewhat suicidal?	Yes No

Okay, now just click on the button below and we will instantly tell you if you've watched a soap and what soap it was.

Other great Rockall Times interactive aides

The Tabloid Sex Verifier — Find out if you've slept with a celebrity

Spot the Black Propaganda Challenge — Win a signed bodybag if you can guess what stories the US and UK governments have made up about Saddam Hussein