I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

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The Wonderful World of Bono — Central America

I must confess to not knowing much about Central America. The band has never been there, since the tour marketing spin-off percentages are simply too low to justify shipping 250 lorries full of hydraulically-operated Ladas over to Panama City.

Despite that, I'm going to give this one my best shot. Apparently, hundreds of thousands of children — some as young as eighteen months — are virtually enslaved in the region's banana plantations, simply to feed the West's insatiable desire for top-quality bananas.

The facts are simple: This evil trade which feeds the many-tentacled octopus of globalisation must stop, and it must stop now. Surely we in the West have not become so decadent that we could not live without bananas? Think about it, before I come round and give you an extended earful on the matter.

Mind you, I have to say that Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean is simply magnificent, so it's not all bad news.

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