Mugabe and white farmers slug it out in War on Reason™

White farmers in Zimbabwe have dealt a fresh blow to president Mugabe in the escalating stupidity war there by refusing to leave their land despite the likelihood that they will end up 100 per cent dead as a result.

The decision will come as a blow to Mugabe, whose inspired move in ignoring his own country's High Court and insisting on the farmers' compulsory eviction from their land did not, sadly, have the immediate effect he desired.

The situation has reached stalemate, and Mugabe appears to have faltered despite his proven commitment to Hitler's personal style of moustache and domestic policy.

Fortunately, vice president Joseph Msika has adopted a more robust attitude to the crisis, declaring that: "Those who are not going to work within the laws of Zimbabwe have nobody to blame but themselves. The law will take its own course. It's simple and straightforward."

Mr Msika's radical rewriting of the Zimabwean dictionary definition of "law" is thought to be just the tonic needed to break the deadlock with a maximum of carnage.

The farmers' insistence on staying on their land is admirable but remarkably ill-advised, an expert told The Rockall Times. The land is liable to be transferred to black owners in the near future regardless of whites' opinion on the matter, reversing the tried-and-trusted British policy of giving 70 per cent of the country's best land to a small number of white folk when it was Rhodesia.

It's likely, however, that Mugabe's strength of character — insisting on farm land being handed to thousands of untrained black citizens at the same time that the country is suffering from a chronic food shortage — will ultimately carry the day. Meanwhile, the British establishment continues to tut-tut in comfortingly patronising tones.