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Blair wins Most Promising Dictator award

Prime Minister Tony Blair has been voted "Most Promising Dictator" at a prestigious secret ceremony in Berlin.

Held in an abandoned ice cream manufacturing plant, the Friends of Under-praised Dictators Society (FUDS) presented the award at the end of a gala evening celebrating the excesses of the twentieth century's megalomaniacs.

While some protests were raised at Blur's victory over such rising stars as Popstars supremo Simon Lithgow, they were violently suppressed in keeping with the spirit of the occasion. One badly beaten youth later protested to The Rockall Times: "Blair's hardly oppressed anyone. I mean, he just got lucky with foot and mouth..."

Nevertheless, the president of the FUDS British voting panel was swift to support the decision: "While Blair has inflicted relatively little brutal oppression, he is showing a great deal of potential, which is what we're here to recognise. His War on Terror™ is after all a flimsy excuse to impose his world view on every nation in the globe, and cause some serious carnage to boot. Good stuff."

"And let's not forget, he is in the process of making asylum seekers the Jews of the 21st century. Add to that a far-sighted educational policy intended to reduce the majority of Brits to benighted ignorance and Nazi Germany never looked so good as Britain under Blair. That's what was recognised here tonight."

Bleurgh was unavailable for comment, busy as he was building support for his War on Dissenting Cabinet Ministers™, but an official spokestrooper announced El Duce was "pleased and flattered at this recognition of his efforts".

The award — a silver statuette of a jackboot stamping on the face of a Kosovar Albanian — will "take pride of place next to a signed portrait of Robert Mugabe in No.10," the spokesthug said.

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