Rockall to rival Blackpool for UK Las Vegas top spot

In a shock move today, we have decided to go the capitalist route and sign up on an affiliate scheme with online casino Spin Palace.

The reason is simple: despite a recent relaxation in gambling laws in this country, so far only Blackpool has sought to take advantage of them.

Can it be fair that those citizens who, out of their own free will, want to gamble will be forced to endure Blackpool's attractions and accompanying temporary residents? Quite clearly not.

That is why we have set about setting up Rockall as a superior alternative to the mainland's feeble attempts. We can't actually do it on Rockall because there's only room for one card table and, at a push, a roulette wheel. It's also a bit windy at the moment.

The debonair lifestyle and understated class that our customers are used to is hard to maintain when a force-four sidewind catches you full on or when you constantly have to avoid up-ended gannets.

And so we have again embraced the magic of Internet technology. By clicking on the banner ad on the front page you are taken to Spin Palace where you have a chance to play loads of games and, if you so fancy, upset the wife by gambling with real money.

If you win big, we will be delighted to have introduced you to the site. If you lose, we get a cut of it, so even while that gas bill looms large you can take comfort in the fact that you have helped that lovely satire site continue its existence.

Why not place large ridiculous bets and aid your chances of losing? Remember: for every pound you lose, we gain 25p.

That's right, it's a win-win for all with The Rockall Times/Spin Palace Capitalist Frenzy 2002 Tie-in.

Disclaimer:

While we cannot condone gambling, we would like to encourage it, especially if it comes after you've clicked on our banner ad. So if you're feeling lucky or just suffer from an addictive personality click on the banner ads, and support The Rockall Times by placing daft bets and losing as much money as possible.