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Tony Blair in independent thought crisis

UK prime minister Tony Blair has begun to show disturbing signs of capacity for independent thought, doctors have confirmed.

US state department officials have remarked upon the "worrying development" and have called upon President Dubya to rein in the simpering statesman before he does any damage.

Last week at the Earth Summit in Johannesburg, fears were confirmed when Blur called for immediate ratification of the Kyoto agreement — something diametrically opposed to United States policy.

A senior presidential aide told The Rockall Times that Tony Blair's "unwillingness to do what he's told is affecting the US' perception in those countries it has yet to bring to heel". Canine psychologists are rumoured to have been brought in to retrain the disobedient leader.

The UK government however has insisted that Blur is his own man and is free to put forward policies and opinions in keeping with the best interests of the British public.

Foreign Secretary Jack Straw told reporters at a hastily convened press conference: "The United Kingdom is an independent and sovereign nation. Although our government has a good relationship with the United States government, the government will continue to decide the best course of action for the United Kingdom." A spokesman later denied the statement was ambiguous.

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