Jap discovered still fighting World Cup

A Japanese football fan has been found in the wild, still fighting with foreigners, months after the World Cup officially ended.

Kickagoulie Onoda was found drunk and abusive in a wooded area outside Kobe, where he has been periodically attacking English and German tourists who wander close to his "temporary" home — a shelter made of bamboo leaves and stolen national flags.

When authorities first approached him he was aggressive and unfriendly. Observers say he repeatedly yelled "you're going home in a frucking amburance" at anyone who got close, before running back into the dense scrub.

Police from the anti-football-terror squad eventually lured Onoda away by offering him a fake ticket to the World Cup final, which had been doctored to show Japan playing Brazil and signed by the Emperor.

Mr Onoda later told psychologists that he thought it a great honour to be fighting for his team in the World Cup. Sadly, despite the experts' best efforts he still refuses to believe the football competition is actually over.