Neville Chamberlain joins growing anti-war chorus

Veteran statesmen Mr Neville Chamberlain yesterday added his voice to the growing chorus against a possible war with Iraq. Speaking from atop the stairs of an elderly Lockheed Airliner as he disembarked at London Croydon Aerodrome, the 133-year-old former prime-minister urged the Government to reconsider its support for a US led war with Iraq, and instead to seek "Peace with honour" and "Peace in our time".

The noted anti-war campaigner, who has just returned from a marathon round of last-minute diplomacy in Baghdad, went on to detail his support for a policy of "appeasement" regarding Iraq. Holding aloft a piece of paper he told waiting reporters that he had the signature of Mr Hussein, guaranteeing that Iraq would never again seek to use violent force or weapons of mass destruction on its own people or its neighbours. He added that this was "surely" all the guarantee that was needed for the world to believe Mr Hussein's peaceful intentions, and that the concerned British public should "Go home and sleep sound in their beds".

Chamberlain's campaign has attracted worldwide support. Germany in particular has cited past occasions of American military intervention in 1917 and 1941 as examples where "things went disastrously wrong", and has urged the United States and Britain "not to make the same mistakes again".

Downing Street has yet to respond to Mr Chamberlain's speech, although other political figures close to the prime minister have spoken out in support of the government, among them Sir Winston Churchill. Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference on the back parcel shelf of a Ford Mondeo, Churchill confirmed the necessity of military action against Iraq by nodding his head and saying "Oh yes yes yes yes yes". Asked whether he feared large numbers of Iraqi civilian casualties he made it clear that his response was a confident "Oh no no no no no".

Meanwhile in Baghdad Sod'em Hussein has moved to convince the West of his peaceful intentions. "Why can't we all just sit down and talk over a nice cup of tea," he sighed on Iraqi TV as he was shown enjoying his favourite hobby — moving little model tanks over maps of Poland, France and the Soviet Union.