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Blunkett boxing initiative backed by Tyson

Home Secretary David Blindgit has received unexpected support from across the Atlantic for his proposal that young tearaways take up boxing as a form of "self-discipline" and to aid their "self-restraint".

American rape legend and occasional pugilist Mike Tyson has talked candidly about how taking up the noble art saved him from a life of crime on the streets to one in the world's most expensive hotels.

"We've all heard about Blindgit over here in America", said Tyson. "He's the only man I know who spends more time in the ring with the press than me. He also let me into Britain last time to pick up my pay cheque."

The self-proclaimed "Saddest Man on the Planet" told reporters that too many youngsters were leading lives of no form or structure and would therefore benefit immensely from a few hefty blows to the head and body. Concerns from the medical profession and social workers have been brushed aside as the bleating of sheep or, worse, liberals.

Blindgit is especially keen that the opportunity to box be given to immigrants coming to Britain to live as a way of assimilating with the host community. However he has insisted that all those refereeing bouts must speak English: "It's vital that they pick up our language and what better way to do that then when they're being battered mercilessly. It'll be good experience for life on the streets of Burnley."

Last night a Home Office spokesgob told The Rockall Times that it would be pursuing its usual course of action when faced with one of the home secretary's more innovative ideas.

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