Anelka throws strop of Norwegian proportions

Talented Manchester City footballer Nicholas Anelka yesterday had an unnecessary press release issued on his behalf restating his refusal to be called up for Norway's crucial friendly game against Finland in Bratislava.

The statement was made available to reporters courtesy of his brothers — who normally act as selfless agents for the wayward striker. Journalists willing to pay the £10,000 demanded received a neatly set-out A4 sheet listing the reasons for Anelka's principled stand.

Apparently the bad feeling stems from a time when the versatile star was short-changed for a pack of six croissants bought in a downtown Oslo mini-market. Soon after — and somehow as a direct result — the perpetually glum-faced footie genius engineered a transfer away from Arsenal.

One of Anelka's two brothers rejected claims that his lack of Norwegian ancestry — plus the fact that no one had asked him to play for the country in the first place — in any way affected the validity of this particular stand. "Nic's been treated like merde by the Norwegian Ice Hockey Federation. For years they never spoke to or contacted him even once. Now, with this important game coming up, if they think he'll be prepared to drop everything and fly out to Oporto on the first EasyJet flight then they're very much mistaken."

However as a sign of compromise the brothers offered to help out any club interested in taking the disgruntled talent away from Maine Road for a sum not dissimilar to £25m. "As a sign of our good faith we'll even increase our cut from 15 to 20 per cent."

Next week Anelka is expected to demand substantial compensation from the Solomon Islands for refusing to appear in an away game against Papua New Guinea.