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US boffin plans ultimate chaos theory experiment

American scientist and head of experimental meteorology at the Californian Institute of Boffinology, Professor Fernando Porca is to embarked on a six-year experiment to test the so-called "Butterfly Effect" for the first time.

The Butterfly Effect — first formulated as an illustration of chaos theory in the 1980s — takes its name from the idea that a single flap of a butterfly's wings could have far-reaching consequences. A single flap may perturb its immediate environment, which may in turn influence local weather conditions, leading ultimately to dramatic alterations in global weather patterns. Or not, as the case may be. Indeed, this theory is so far untested and Dr Porca hopes to gather important data on the subject.

Dr Porca will stand on top of the Sugar Loaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro and flap his arms vigorously for two minutes every day at noon. Meanwhile, his team back in California will closely monitor weather pattern data relayed from bases dotted around the globe. Dr Porca hopes to show that his activities do effect global weather, and thereby gain valuable evidence of the theory's validity. As a control, Dr Porca will not flap his arms on Sundays.

"This is a very exciting field of study," Says Porca. "For me, as a meteorologist, the possible benefits of the study are obvious, but this research could lead to gains in many other spheres of knowledge. If the results are encouraging we might team up with other specialist to explore other areas. For example, we could try buying a newspaper every weekday and keeping a close eye on the financial markets. This research could aid better prediction of all chaotic systems — from crowd control to carpet-bombing. In principle, we could be looking at a future with free food and energy, peace for everyone, and thriving colonies on other planets."

Not everyone agrees with Dr Porca. A Greenpeace spokesman said today: "This is a typical case of scientists playing God. How can Dr Porca predict the consequences of his experiments? Recklessly toying with the Earth's weather like this could lead to famine, mass extinction, and mutant microbes that thrive on a diet of human eyeballs". Greenpeace plans to invalidate Porca's work by travelling to Rio and standing very still.

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