Moon acre fiasco leads to sectarian violence

Internet-based real estate dealer buygreencheese.com landed itself in the middle of a bitter sectarian row when an acre of lunar landscape was inadvertently sold to two competing bidders. For some years, dealers have been selling plots of lunar land by the acre online, but this is the first reported dispute between smallholders on the barren satellite.

The affair began when two residents of Belfast in Northern Ireland accidentally applied for the same acre of land at the same time on the same day. An error by buygreencheese.com meant that the purchase went ahead as a joint bid and the two Irishmen, from different sides of the political divide, found themselves co-owners of the plot.

Patrick Dingle, 56, and Danny Jones, 25, were charged $15 each for their half share, and now both parties claim full ownership of the disputed plot.

The acre in question, Mare Tranquillitatis (Sea of Tranquillity), sector 5T, plot 99, is an unremarkable spot on the lunar landscape but neither party is prepared to give it up. Says Dingle: "I bought the deeds to this land in good faith, and as outright owner. Buygreencheese mistakenly charged me half price and then sold the other half to Mr Jones. Buygreencheese admit that my application was prior to Mr Jones's and so there's no question at all that the land is mine."

Naturally, Jones sees it differently. "The first I knew about this mess was when the deeds arrived. I just couldn't believe it when I read them. There, next to my name, was 'co-owner Patrick Dingle'. I've spoken to buygreencheese and they say that my credit card payment cleared a full minute before Mr Dingle's, therefore I was the first to buy the plot and if one person is to own it outright, then it should be me."

A spokesman for buygreencheese.com says that they have tried to offer every solution imaginable. "They both say joint ownership is out of the question and they both refuse to give up their share. We have thousands of similar plots, and we've gone as far as to offer them both five acres each in a neighbouring area if they give us back plot 99. Sadly, they both seem determined to see this through all the way to court."

"Plot 99 is the land I love," says Dingle "and I want to keep it for my grandchildren and future generations. One day my descendants will want to claim their heritage, and when they do, I don't expect them to find Mr Jones's offspring marching around up there." But according to Jones, the plot is destined for his progeny. "This is my land, for my family, and it will never be a popish breeding-ground. Never."

The ultimate problem for Dingle and Jones could be finding a court that will take them seriously. Buygreencheese.com claims authority to register ownership of land on the Moon by virtue of an obscure law in the statute of New Jersey USA, but expert Johan Van Halen of the International Space Law Institute in the Netherlands derides the claim.

He told The Rockall Times: "These deeds are not worth a bean. International treaties clearly state that extraterrestrial lands are to remain 'free for use by all' just like the high seas. It's very clear, and the treaties specifically prohibit laying claim to any land beyond Earth. In any case, the Dutch government bought the Sea of Tranquillity and all mineral rights therein in 1963 from a bloke in a pub, so the Paddies will have to find something else to fight over."