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Revealed: The sordid past of Blair conman

Tony and Cherie Blair are under increasing pressure to disown the conman who apparently arranged their controversial property move. A Sunday paper yesterday published some of the details of the dark history of shadowy figure who is now unwanted all over Britain.

The incident in question dates back to the 1990s when the Blairs were living in an unprepossessing house in a north London suburb. Like many successful but unexceptional London professionals, they clung to the dream that one day they might move to a more central and fashionable location — a dream unlikely ever to be realised.

But a series of seemingly random events — Labour's loss of the 1992 election, the death of John Smith, and the return of The Clangers to daytime TV — somehow led to the Blairs coming into contact with local estate agent Peter Mandelson. The Blairs quickly began to consider Mandelson, with his ready charm and wit, as a friend rather than just a mere acquaintance responsible for finding them somewhere better to live.

Over a pie and a pint at the Hartlepool Monkey pub in Islington one evening, the scheming wheeler-dealer managed to gain the confidence of the trusting couple and sold them his plan for their upmarket relocation.

It was Mandelson who insisted to the star-struck yuppies that they could obtain a desirable residence in Downing Street at a knock-down price and, better still, they could complete before anybody else. This was despite the fact that all three of them knew that a long list of buyers had already made firm offers on the property.

However, no sooner had Tony and Cherie gazumped their way into No 10, than their old friend increasingly showed a penchant for "dropping by" unannounced and subtly demanding cabinet positions with menaces. On several occasions the Blairs gave into his pleadings or threats and gave Mandelson the public position he craved. Each time he flew too close to The Sun and got burned.

Mandelson's precise origins are unclear although geneticists claim he is related to other animals which evolved from the primordeal and pre-ethical swamps of the Conservataceous era. Whatever the truth, journalists have uncovered a history of treachery and betrayal that makes a mockery of claims that he can be trusted with property or anything else.

One Scottish lad Mandelson double-crossed when fast-tracking the Blairs into the Downing Street house was outraged at the manner in which he was gazumped. Speaking to The Rockall Times, the man — who we shall only refer to as Gordon B — said: "Mandelson stitched me up good and proper and make no mistake. Number Ten was the property I wanted. I needed that place to get the job I wanted. Instead I've been stuck in a poky little place working as nothing better than an accountant for the past five years."

Last night Tony Blair insisted that the estate agent profession would only have truly embraced modernisation when they had learned to "love Peter Mandelson". A quick survey of young men and women drinking flagons of sparkling Spanish wine in an All Bar One opposite a branch of Foxtons indicated that none of them believed that this was ever likely to happen.

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