Parents fury as toy shops adequately judge level of demand

Angry parents across the UK angry parents have been involved in violent clashes at toyshops this week, as the annual "must have" product dash takes place in time for Xmas.

But in a surprise twist that no one could have predicted, shops have managed to judge demand and have enough stock to go around. Industry analysts are dumbfounded.

Ever since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles phenomenon of the early 1990s, toyshops have been completely unable to predict, and then satisfy, the demand for the year's biggest toy craze. This abject inability to think ahead has led to the November and early December phenomenon of mobs of parents staking out toyshops, armed to the teeth. In many instances, desperate parents have even resorted to hijacking supply trucks, sparking many delivery drivers to wear body armour.

But not this year. Mother of six Brenda from Chingford in Essex told The Rockall Times: "I used to look forward to a good toy-shop riot in December. It's great that I have managed to get my kids everything they want, but without having to compete with hundreds of normally civilised parents fighting for an overpriced garish coloured stuffed toy, Christmas just don't feel the same."

This year, all indications are that most parents are walking away from toyshops with the full list of overpriced movie merchandise and mass-produced plastic cartoon accoutrements.

One well-built father of two was not happy however: "It's an absolute disgrace. Christmas only comes once a year, and to not have the chance to crack open a few skulls is unforgivable. Any other time of year and I get put back in jail."

Black market traders are also said to be furious at the new approach by leading retail stores, although there were pleased to report that their range of perfumes and jewellery are still in stock for those who wish to give their close friends or family skin rashes.