Dear Dierdre: How can I face the future?

DEAR DIERDRE: I spent the whole of Xmas just crying and crying and crying. I'd been married for seven years. The first four were wonderful, but then it became a nightmare. I found myself sleeping around with people from work. Two weeks ago I walked out on my husband after he lost his marbles on a national TV show. Now I have to spend New Year's Eve alone with only three tabloid editors and a pack of paparazzi for company. How can I face the future? Amanda, London

DIERDRE SAYS: Dear, dear Amanda. Marriage is a sacred institution, and casual sex is never a solution to marital problems. I'm sending you my leaflet How to balance marriage and a television career without putting yourself around like a two-buck hussy. It's a bit of a horse/stable door scenario, I know, but at least it might help you keep your legs together in future.

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DEAR DIERDRE: I spent the whole of Xmas just crying and crying and crying. I'd been married for seven years. The first four were wonderful, but then it became a nightmare. I found that my wife had been sleeping around with people from work. Two weeks ago she walked out on me after I lost my marbles on a national TV show. Now I have to spend New Year's Eve alone with only three tabloid editors and a pack of paparazzi for company. How can I face the future? Les, London

DIERDRE SAYS: Dear, dear Les. Marriage is a sacred institution and no-one should have been more aware of that fact than your wife. However, going to pieces on a reality TV show is never a solution to marital problems. I'm sending you my leaflet How to hang onto a woman who gets her tits out in men's magazine and then shags another TV personality without breaking down in public and making a complete arse of yourself. Yes, I know it's a bit like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, but it may help you hang on to your wife next time and not end up splashed across The News of the World.

Dierdre Bellbottom is the Sapphic editor of The Erotic Digest