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  Monday 13th January 2003  Society   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Third of UK plans to quit job

Shock survey reveals low-paid workers in shi*t jobs not happy
by Chris Miller

One in three waiters, postmen, bar staff, refuse collectors, administrators, journalists, shop assistants, receptionists, supermarket staff, factory workers, prostitutes, telemarketers, cleaners, couriers, bank clerks and low-level office workers plan to quit their jobs this year, a survey has revealed.

The shocking results come just a week after another survey claimed a third of all teachers in the UK plan to leave the profession within five years.

In addition, the startling new statistics reveal that a third of people in almost every profession with a salary under £25,000 plan to quit sometime soon. The exceptions are actors and musicians, who are workshy layabouts and don't count.

The survey, which was carried out by the Commission for Providing Proof of the Bleeding Obvious (CPPBO), garnered around 110,000 responses. Of these, 36,852 said that they intended to quit in the next 12 months.

Respondents cited a number of reasons for their desire to leave, with 42 per cent claiming they planned to go travelling. An incredible 18 per cent intend to write a book, while 12 per cent explained the job was only supposed to be temporary in the first place.

Over two-thirds of respondents also revealed that their wages were crap, they hated their boss, the public are a pain in the arse and they hated themselves for not leaving sooner.

Despite panicking headlines though, a CPPBO spokesman explained there was nothing to worry about: "Of course people hate their jobs. What do you expect? There's only so many enjoyable jobs about and the rest have to make do with spending their meagre wages on drugs to relieve the agony of it all."

Based on previous surveys, he calculated that of the 36,582 potential quitters, between 50 and 100 were going to actually do it. "And of course, they'll just get another job that they'll settle down to hating in a few months anyway," he chirpily interjected.

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