Revealed: The catalyst that triggered Blair-Brown bust-up

Relations between happy-go-lucky statesman Tony Blair and dour bookkeeper Gordon Brown have descended to a new low. But today we can exclusively reveal the key event that was behind the now-legendary bust-up.

Disagreements between over the two regarding the euro, education, criminals and foreign policies pale into insignificance beside the festering wound resulting from a 1995 visit to a restaurant in London's fashionable Islington district.

At the time, the two agreed to meet to decide who should take over the Labour party following John Smith's death, plus who would play them in any forthcoming television series. The meeting was held at the book-lined Granta restaurant, just a stone's throw away from such famous spots as Café Rouge and the Coach & Horses.

While there was tough-talking at the meeting, we can now reveal that it was Blair's refusal to pay for his share of the meal, insisting that they cut a "third way" and go Dutch that infuriated the future chancellor. Despite a personal plea from Blair that splitting in down the middle would demonstrate their joint commitment, Brown insisted upon prudent financial management.

The situation worsened when Blair claimed to have left his wallet at home and promised he would pay Gordon back the full amount he owed. Brown put the bill on his card but eight years later, that cheque has still to be written.

However, the bill from that historic evening has exclusively come into The Rockall Times' possession, enabling us for the first time to gain an insight into these two great men's minds and stomachs.

Below is a full itemisation of what each ordered along with its price:

Gordon Brown

• Glass of tap water: £0.00
• Bread roll (slightly damaged): £0.50
• Boiled fish: £4.50
• Side order of steamed vegetable (carrot): £2.00
• Glass of sparkling wine (Sainsbury's own): £5.00
• Glass of tap water: £0.00
• 
  
• TOTAL: £12.00

Tony Blair

• Two bottles of San Rossore mineral water: £12.50 each
• Selection of rum-glazed petit pain: £15.00
• Sashimi slices with new-age puff pastry and sweetbread trotters: £20.00
• Side order of truffle-style grains and pulses basted in Himalayan rainwater: £12.50
• Bottle of 1945 Gaston Huet Babycham: £350.00
• Coffee and aardvark sorbet: £8.50
• Beef marmalade chocolate cake topped with morrello leaves: £15.00
• Cup of Tuscan espresso: £5.00
• Cup of Tuscan espresso: £5.00
• Cup of Tuscan espresso: £2.50 (volume discount kicks in)
• Cheese selection — Iraqi Blue, Extra Mature Baby Bel, Duchy Originals Smelly and Holey: £15.00
• Glass of 1621 Cockburn's port: £250.00
• Glass of Cointreau: £250.00
• 
  
• TOTAL: £973.50

With Blair and Brown now only speaking to insult each other and leaks from favoured friends appearing in the press daily, lancing the boil of the Granta dispute could be the only way to resolve the matter.