Fergie rages after 6-0 West Ham drubbing

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has rounded angrily on pundits who claim that West Ham should have had a late penalty during his team's 6-0 FA cup fourth round drubbing of the premiership strugglers yesterday.

Shouting uncontrollably at a cowering BBC reporter, Ferguson said that he had watched a replay of the incident in which Gary Neville brought down Joe Cole in the box, and noted that referee Bennett "momentarily considered" awarding the penalty, although he quickly changed his mind.

"Quite frankly, it's totally unacceptable," fumed the bellicose Jock supremo. "To even consider — however fleetingly — making any decision which might prejudice the scoreline could have catastrophic results on our league, cup and European ambitions at this stage of the season. The FA will receive our formal complaint in the morning."

Ferguson has the full backing of his squad, a fact which was proved beyond any doubt when Roy Keane released a pack of attack dogs on the assembled press before urinating into the hapless ref's kit bag.

Indeed, so seriously do Manchester United take the threat of refereeing decisions going against them, that the club has threatened — should there be any repetition of the incident — to withdraw from the FA cup altogether and go to Brazil to play a few lucrative exhibition matches against half-hearted opposition between bouts of sunbathing and light shopping.

A visibly-shocked FA official expressed the hope that it would not come to this, adding that the idea of an FA Cup without Manchester United was "unthinkable" and would be a "great blow to the game".