'Collapsed from exhaustion' collapses from exhaustion

Following reports last week that squishy second-generation rock shouter Kelly Osbourne had "collapsed from exhaustion", the phrase "collapsed from exhaustion" was rushed to hospital after collapsing. It was reported to be exhausted due to overwork.

Sources close to the three-word sequence pointed out that since 2000, it has been overwhelmed with a busy schedule looking after stars including Osbourne, Robbie Williams, Ben Affleck, Billie Piper, AJ McLean of the Backstreet Boys, Julie Goodyear, Mariah Carey, Martine McCutcheon and Caprice.

"This is a terrible burden to be placed on one idiom," said a friend. "He has been doing the work of 10 expressions. He really, really needs a break right now, just to get his head together. I hope the press will leave him alone, but they're relentless."

Although many scurrilous reports have linked the expression to drug and alcohol abuse, they have always been strenuously denied.

"You might think it's all wild parties, drugs, booze, strippers, gambling and sex being a celebrity euphemism," added the friend. "But it's not. It's not. Honest. He works really hard and it's bound to take its toll."

The group of words is expected to make a full recovery in his exclusive private hospital in central London in time for the traditional Summer season of celebrity breakdowns.