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  Monday 10th February 2003  The Arts   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Britney boob bust-up!

Star recovering after titillating trauma
by Andy Heath

Britney Spears was said to be comfortable in a Los Angeles hospital last night after she was caught up in a fight between her tits.

Shocked fans watched horrified as the long-running feud between her fundamentals escalated into violence before a sell-out concert in the City of Angels last night. Witnesses says it was as if the fleshy orbs had a mind of their own.

Britney: Attempting to fend off another jugs joustRumours surrounding the in-fighting between her breasts have dogged the elfin-like songstress through out her career. Her record company has always denied the rumours, but yesterday's incident only showed how deep the divide really is.

It is believed the mammary melee started when Britney's left breast taunted the right one about being bigger. It retaliated that it was better formed and was the one that Britney played with the most. At this, the left tit launched at its twin with such force that the singer was knocked to the ground. Police and security rushed to the scene and four men were required to separate the brawling boobs.

A shocked and dazed Britney was taken to hospital. A spokesperson later told waiting reporters that the singer was considering legal action against the pair for substantial damages. The tits were last night unavailable for comment.

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