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The original is at http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2003/02/10/classified-ads-seven.html.
Rockall classified ads 10.02.03
Small Children. Ideal domestic pets.
by Flash Gorman
For Sale
- Small children. Choice of three. Make ideal domestic pets. Unwelcome media attention forces sale. Come with choice of bizarre masks. Email: mjackson@nevernevermylad.com
Wanted
- Blind eye needed for turning over greenfield building program. War in Middle East offered as distraction. Email: Jprescott@soldout.org
- Well-known record producer seeks innovative musicians or lawyers to help create "Wall of Silence" effect. Implausible alibis, drugs and hot gun available in exchange. Write to: P.Spector c/o Los Angeles County Jail.
- Definitive excuse urgently needed. Political pressure, sporting inability and threat of alien abduction need not apply. Email: nhussain@copouts.com
Positions Sought
- Former Iraqi General looking for security work. Has own tank and keen to take any travel opportunities. Imminent regime change forces alternative career path. Suit small third world country or large Woolworths store. Write in confidence to: The Iraq Army, Baghdad.
Lost and Found
- Common political ground. Last seen between France and Britain. Confirmed sighting by Concorde and rumoured to have been present during Channel Tunnel construction. EU membership offered as reward. Email: intentcordial@eu.org
From The Rockall Times Monday 10th February 2003
http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/.