Scientists in daring race against computer obsolescence

Plucky boffins from Welford University have conducted a dramatic experiment to determine if it is possible to use a brand new computer BEFORE it becomes out of date.

Armed with a high-powered rocket car, the scientists picked up a Pentium five computer direct from the factory and attempted to install it in a home office. The aim of the experiment was to print a simple document on the new computer before it became superseded by more advanced technology.

The Rockall Times has obtained the following timelog of the experiment:

09:00 — Scientists place Pentium five computer in rocket car and accelerate briskly away from factory.

09:05 — Scientists are pulled over by police car for doing two hundred miles an hour in built-up area. Bickering among boffins as to wisdom of using rocket car.

09:07 — Rocket car runs out of fuel. Further debate vis-a-vis rocket car. News reaches boffins that Pentium factory has started work on latest processor.

09:25 — Rocket car arrives at office pushed by scientists. After regaining breath they rush into the office with the new computer. Pentium factory has now finished development of new processor and is trying to decide on a name for it.

09:30 — New computer is installed but scientists are unable to print document until they download updated printer drivers. Pentium factory decides on "Pentium Six" as name for new processor.

09:35 — Driver still downloading. Factory begins filming series of adverts for Pentium Six processor. Scientists begin fighting over mouse.

09:37 — Factory release Pentium six computer. Pentium five computer halves in value as scientists finally get the printer to work. Disgruntled boffins head for pub, passing several landfill sites full of Pentium four computers. The Museum of technology opens a display of Pentium three computers.

So there we have it, a bold attempt but ultimately doomed to failure. When we asked the Pentium factory for a comment, they said the experiment was of some historical interest but its relevance had been undermined by their development of the water-powered Pentium 12 computer.